Oh, how tempting it is to believe that my friends were never my friends. It would be comforting, in a way. There would be no loss, right? You can't lose something you never had.
But if we were never friends, then what was that? What was the joy I felt at accomplishments that were not my own and the sadness I felt at losses that were not my own?
And how will I tell the difference the next time I think I'm friends with someone who isn't really my friend?
No, it's all too difficult. I think I'd rather be hurt and angry than believe that I can't tell the fakes from the real friends.
Yes!
ReplyDeleteWhen people change it doesn't mean they weren't what they were. Somebody just changed. Was it them? Was it you? As you said somewhere, you have the benefit of full data.
I agree. Just because you're not friends now doesn't mean your weren't friends before. Even though it sucks. Some people never learn to take disappointment in stride.
ReplyDeletePeople change, including us. And sometimes it blows. :-(
ReplyDeleteThere is a very fine line between real friends and real enemies - much finer than the one that separates us from those who never cared about us one way or the other.
ReplyDeleteThey were friends. Now they are not. It is a loss - yes, it is. But it's not a hallucination. You knew exactly when they crossed that line, which means that at one time they were on your side of it.
Sorry to hear all this.
Over the last few months, I've accepted that all I can do is my best. I can love with my heart wide open and speak honestly. If anybody takes advantage of that, then they are the ones with the problem, not me.
DeleteIt goes for you, too, chicky. You do your best. Be the best friend that you can be and treat others the way you would like to be treated. If they don't, it says nothing about you and everything about them.
(Let me know if you need some cat poop to fling at somebody's face, though. Sometimes the high road is less satisfying than revenge.)