Lots (ha!) to think about

 I've decided to rent for at least a year. Maybe more. I found a house five minutes' walk from the Caffeinated Wonk, Ex, and Son's BFF. (There is no better location.) The landlord is excellent and is stoked about having me as a tenant. I found a housemate, who may have found us a second housemate. It is a good setup for a year. I don't want to have to deal with repairs or unexpected costs for now. I don't want to have to deal with selling a house when I want to move again.

I feel a bit burned by Ex's approach to the mortgage on the home we lived in. I let him do all of the banking and household finances, which is how we ended up with a mortgage in roughly twice the amount we paid for the property ten years ago, with 27 years left to pay. (He renegotiated it multiple times, rolling in various debts and extending the term. You may tell me I am an idiot; it is nothing I haven't said to myself.)

I did all of the work for the mortgage on the camp, which is how we ended up with a fifteen-year mortgage at the rock-bottom rates desperate lenders were giving out when the bottom fell out of the market a few years ago. I own the property with my brother and "got" it in the asset division; when we went to the bank this summer to make the arrangements, I looked at the mortgage docs and thought I'd done well. 

So I know I am not incapable of doing this right. 

The image at the top of this post is from a calculator on the New York Times' website, the sort of feature you could bury yourself in for hours at a time, playing with numbers, noting adjustments that would have to be made (renters pay utilities, too!), considering what will be happening in each year of your life. 

I am starting from scratch with savings. (In the hole, really, if you want to think about the debt Ex left me with, but let's not...) The $12K loan I paid off earlier this month wiped out every penny I'd scrounged from my paychecks and my tax refund in the nine months since I moved out of the home I shared with Ex. I still have a four-month emergency fund that would be enough for a down payment on a small place if I was desperate, but I hope not to get that desperate. I doubt I'll lose my job, but I need that money for emergencies. What if I lose my housemate and have to carry all of the household expenses on my own for a year? What if something goes sideways with the divorce and I get a huge bill from my lawyer? Besides, it seems stupid to blow my emergency fund on anything that makes it more likely I'll need my emergency fund. The idea of having to replace a roof makes me shiver. 

Son is 12. It is all guesswork no matter what, but it appears that it would only be worth it to buy a home if I bought a very small one next summer or the summer after and stayed there until his graduation. I could save a down payment by that time, but even then, "worth it" might mean very little. I went through the hassle of trying to sell the house I shared with Ex, and I'm watching the roomie go through it with the house we live in now. There is a lot of appeal in the ability to move any time with no work other than hiring movers and cleaners. I still feel pretty unsettled.