My life is changing. It is now a constant swirl of highs and lows. It is kind of disorienting. And the whole thing is rather mind-boggling.
For many years, things have been…well…steady. Not bad. But not what I would call good, either. At least not now that I can actually see what "good" might be.
I am finally in a place where I can see "good" in the distance. It is on the other shore, once I get through the highs and lows.
And once I get everyone else through the highs and lows. I have had several moments of thinking that others' lows might wash me away.
I am an extrovert; I love other people. Individuals, of course: there are people I love madly with varying types of madness. But I also love people in general. I never want anyone to be hurt. I never want anyone to be upset with me. I never want the rivers to stop running with chocolate. None of these things are possible. I still desperately hope I can make them all happen.
For many years, I have done the things I supposed would make others happy. I told myself that I was happy, too. And several times in the last week, I have broken down and sobbed at the stark contrast between "steady" and "good". Always at rather inconvenient times, of course. It is a good thing I am also loved madly with varying types of madness.
Courage is the price you pay for a spectacular life, and you're the only one who can define "spectacular."
ReplyDeleteStay courageous, my friend.
Hugs my friend. xoxox
ReplyDeleteWhen the price of doing nothing exceeds the price of doing something, there isn't much left to do but move forward.
ReplyDeleteGo, and know that you have friends at your back.
When in doubt, I always turn to great works of literature or timeless authors for my personal encouragement. Corny, maybe, but perhaps all introverts have their quirks? I'm not sure I've ever encountered more reliable words than those that compose this statement by Robert Frost: "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
ReplyDeleteYou can always call or email. Hugs.
"He who has a why to live can bare almost any how" - Nietzsche.
ReplyDeleteForget the others, concentrate on the mad love, both given and received.
Every post you put up make me realize how similar we both are. Except my grammar makes you cringe!
ReplyDeleteI could have written this post (not as well as you did though). Thanks again for sharing with so much honesty.
"...love madly with varying types of madness..."
ReplyDeleteDang, y'all. Them's shore some purty thoughts to think!
Funny, I wonder why you've always seemed to me to be more of an introvert? Weird, hunh? Well, I identify with you. Rivers of chocolate for all! May your paddle be swift and your canoe take you steadily to that shore you seek.
ReplyDelete