Well.

About two months ago I started...uhhhh...intermittently having trouble peeing. It was embarrassing, scary, and too gross to mention to anyone. I eventually went to the doctor, who told me it was likely a UTI. I felt a bit silly. By the time my appointment rolled around, I no longer had symptoms, and the routine test at the clinic showed that any infection that had been there had cleared up. So I didn't worry about it. 

Until a few days later when I had trouble peeing. But only for a day or two. The symptoms cleared up on their own. Which they did again and again. I was relieved. Talking about peeing is gross and embarrassing. And UTI treatment usually involves antibiotics, which I hate. 

This cycle went on for a while and returned about a week ago. By then I was familiar with it. It would clear up on its own; no need to discuss it with anyone. 

I changed my mind Friday night when things got worse very quickly. The doctor at the walk-in clinic gave me a prescription and a lecture about bacterial infections. I was appropriately chastened. I took my first pill with lots of water and went to bed.

I am going to skip over some gross details and collapse the story into "admitted to the ER in acute distress the next morning". If talking about peeing was gross and embarrassing, this was on a different plane of humiliation. The nurses were wonderful to me. I eventually left with a catheter and an appointment for an ultrasound the next day. 

Catheters suck but at least they relieve the pain that comes with not being able to pee at all. The ER doc had done a quick ultrasound to make sure my bulging abdomen was indeed due to a bladder stretched far beyond its normal capacity, and I assumed the second ultrasound was to get a better look while I was not writhing in pain. 

So I was surprised when the tech said she was looking at my uterus, and started to review my history. I'd forgotten that a scan years ago had turned up fibroids; they're so common and mostly harmless that I'd put them out of my mind. 

And I was even more surprised a few hours later when the doctor called me in to review the results and told me I do not have a UTI (yay!) but do have a huge uterine fibroid that is bigger than my uterus and displacing everything in the general vicinity including my excretory system (boo). It is probably not cancer. But it does require a hysterectomy. 

I went back today to meet with the surgeon, hoping that at some point in the intervening hours someone had noticed that, ha ha, that wasn't going to be necessary. So much for that. I'm scheduled for surgery on Thursday.

Arrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh.